The Ranch is Wretched

Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson are back at it again.

Image Credit: Netflix

A few posts ago, I brought up how every time we log into Netflix, they throw new original content at us. We usually accept it and sometimes even watch it because Netflix has a reputation for good original programming. From “Orange is the New Black” to “Narcos” to “House of Cards” to “Trailer Park Boys”, Netflix has gained a name for compelling and entertaining content.

So it’s surprising when an original show is as disappointing as Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace”.

Created by Two and a Half Men’s Jim Patterson and Don Reo, “The Ranch” focuses on Colt Bennett, an ex-amateur football player in his mid-30s who returns to his family’s Ranch in Colorado when he has a try out nearby. He reconnects with his older brother Jameson ‘Rooster’, played by Danny Masterson, hard-ass father Beau, played by Sam Elliot, and independent mother Maggie, played by Debra Winger.

In my opinion, the multicam sitcom failed in more ways than it succeeded. Here are a few reasons:

1)    All White Cast.

Image Credit: Netflix

Every single person seen on screen at any point in all ten episodes is white. Was the intention for accuracy because they’re ranching in Colorado? A comedy with so many other inaccuracies, it’s hard for me to believe that this is the aspect they had to try to mirror. Netflix’s tendency to put out progressive content took five steps backward with this casting.

2)   Do we still love these jokes?

The considerable number of sexist and racist jokes per episode was shocking. Sam Elliot’s character often made offensive jokes about other races, which was in his character, but I still feel like we’re past this. Kutcher and Masterson’s characters perpetuated the offenses with constant sexist jokes. Even worse, there were way too many jokes about sleeping with underage girls. Several times an episode, one of the characters would say something along the lines of “I didn’t know she wasn’t eighteen” or “I’m going to the cheerleading practice at the high school”. These characters are in their 30s and going to watch high school cheerleaders. That’s way too creepy.

3)  Just talk normally.

Your options are either talking with an accent or not. Not both. Not switching between a Rocky Mountains accent, something Southern, and what you sound like when you speak to your friends. During conversations between Colt and Rooster, they would fall into an accent then lose it within a few minutes. Also, the Rocky Mountains are not in the South. They’re not the same accent.

4)    Dip

Every once in a while, and I mean I saw him do it twice, Colt Bennett would take out a can of chewing tobacco, put a piece inside his mouth, and then it would disappear. First of all, to anyone that’s even seen dip, you spit it out and you spit out pretty quickly. Is Colt just leaving it in his mouth forever? Second, why does this only happen twice? He does it at two random times, not during stressful or emotional situations, which could work as a character trait. It struck me as so random and inaccurate that I got lost.

Image Credit: Netflix

  5)    Beau Bennett or John Wayne?

Beau’s character is more stock than not. The old rancher or farmer who’s stuck in his ways, knows the value of hard work, and makes typical racists jokes. I could’ve been watching Ethan Edwards in The Searchers for all I know. Although the writers tried to give him a twist with his love for Maggie, I don’t feel like it’s enough to make him stand out.

As a shock to me, “The Ranch” has been picked up for a second season less than a month after it’s April 1^st release and following less-than-stellar reviews. Hopefully, the writers will be able to give me more to look forward to.